Not A Good Start To The Year

Yeah I know it has only been less than two months since the start of 2009 but I am already feeling the heat.

I made an error in judgment in work, and committed a disciplinary dismeanor unknowingly and I wonder if it will cost me my job. The jury is still out and I am praying fervently that I will make it. In other times, I am sure I don't have to worry about losing this job, but not in the current global economic meltdown. Damn those bankers!

I am feeling the heat from my exams too. Well prepared as I was, I was reckless during the exams (which I normally am not) and this may have cost me the assuage of passage in three papers. I lie awake at night and wonder why I have made those mistakes which I do not make in my daily work but I cannot explain why. I have been kicking myself so hard I can feel bruises inside me but if only I could turn back the clock and redo those papers again...

But in retrospect, everything is perfect.

I have already started making preparations for a backup job in case this one fails me. I guess chances are that I will go back to the industry that I have left so enthusiastically half a year ago. Not due to passion definitely, but due to circumstances. What puts bread on your table (and pays your cover charges into clubs) is most critical.

I will feel the regret no doubt, for I have already proven myself to be, not the most brilliant, but a competent aviator. Being axed from this will be of tremendous pain to me but I shall accept it.

My head is on the guillotine but I do hope the blade does not fall though.

I feel like bawling out loud but no one can hear me...

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

:(

Dark clouds are looming and I am scared.

Really scared.

God help me please.

President Bush's Farewell Party

Goodbye 2008

In many aspects, 2008 had been a vintage year for me. I can't ask for more and can only hope that 2009 would be better.

2007 ended on a terrible note with me hospitalized for dengue fever at the end of the year, so I started out 2008 just recovering and in weak health. My work attitude towards my (then) job got better (I guess the long medical break from work helped) and I dug myself out of the shambles I was in. I got selected for some high profile projects by some strokes (notice the plural) of luck and was honoured that at the end of the day, the COO knew me on a first-name basis in a company of 5,000 staff. Talk of an imminent promotion boosted my ego and expectations, though shamelessly I had to mention here that I thought the promotion was already late. Dah!

April saw our almost-annual Perth trip to visit Uncle Pat and Auntie Agnes. This time, Cousin William came along. With his help, I purchased my second DSLR plus two new lenses and an external flash. In case you are interested, it was a Canon EOS 40D with 17-55mm f2.8 EFS and 70-20mm f4 L IS USM plus the Canon Speedlite 580 EX II. A year earlier, I had started out my SLR experience with the Canon 350D, got acquainted with the system to some extent and finally decided to be more serious in it if I were to call it a hobby. That beloved 350D is now with Wee Ling so I feel comforted that it is in the hands of one of my best friends who will take good care of it.

My photography skills still suck so I dare not put up my shitty photos on this blog. In other words, I am just a amateur photographer who happens to have a good DSLR system. So for 2009, (I say this every year) I will work on improving my photography especially black and whites and night shots. I still daren't think about event photography yet :P

The Big Change in my life came around May when my sis pushed me to put up an application for a job that would be the stuff in little boys' wet dreams (no, not a gigolo dammit). Little did I know, I progressed in the selection one step at a time (the interviews, the many tests and medicals, etc) and eventually I couldn't believe it when I signed on the dotted line. I can't believe it still that I am in such a privileged position and I thank the Lord for every day that passes. No doubt, the ground school studies are tough (much tougher than university stuff, I must say) and the learning curve is so damn steep when it comes to the practical part (the actual operation of the machine) but I am enjoying every minute of it and putting in much more effort than I ever did in anything my entire life. Everyone has a calling, and I guess I have found mine :)

I hope that with the Lord's blessings, everything will turn out well in 2009 and I will be able to complete the second phase of my training in Australia smoothly. That of course encompasses my ground school exams which are looming fast and furious. Jan 20-22 will be the dreaded days when I take 9 papers in 3 days. Hopefully I can pass all the subjects and progress to the next phase of training. I have been maxing out my brains everyday waking early and sleeping at 2am so I do hope my efforts pay off.

Jan 22, 2009 - when all hell breaks loose. I am looking forward to it, catching all the movies I have missed, meeting up with friends and joining the chums for soccer!!!

Of course this post isn't as well composed as Pixie's on 2008 summations... haha. It's just that I have been too busy :P

Lastly, here's wishing everyone reading this a Happy New Year and blessings for 2009! :)